Posting date

On days like this I try to repeat in my head over and over Jeremiah 29:11 and some Proverbs, but fustration of job seeking is exhausting and to be honest some what depressing. There are jobs out there and fortunately I have a job, but it's not where I'm called to be.  I know God has a plan and I need to listen, but I want to serve. I want to serve the people that don't have everything and that are receiving services and still live in gaps. I want to work with the less fortunate.  I do note write this today for sympathy, but rather a reflection of where my life stands. I have learned a lot working at the radio station, and suspect to learn s good bit more, but it all is a learning curve for me. At one point in my college career I thought communication was for me, but that is when I discovered my love for nonprofit. That's where I want to be. 

So during a time of giving thanks, I have a reverse thanks/rant. I find there to be nothing more frustrating then applying for a job and never hearing anything back or to find out that the job was filled on the posting date. I know sometimes the company already knows who will fill the position, but give us job seekers a chance or let us know. Take 5 minutes to send a email or fix your job posting. It may take an extra step, but it gives us job seekers an answer.  And more than that it just gives us an answer, it gives us hope.  Hope to possibly apply for positions at your company again and hope that eventually the email will say something differently. I know that one day if I am ever in the position of hiring, I will remember these feelings and give all job seekers consideration or an answer.  Thankful for what I have, but my passion to serve others is nagging at me to serve. 

An in a class in college once, the professor told us that unfortunately job seeking is not just about finding the job posting and applying...it's about who knows who. I understood this to be true, but sadly I think it is more true than it should be.  Now there may come the time that this happens to me, but people need a chance. 

As I often do, finish a blog posting with a prayer....

Lead me, guide me, along the way...for if you lead me..I cannot stray. lord let me walk each day with you, lead me or lord lead me.  

Timehoping on this eve....

On the eve of my birthday, I find myself reflecting on the past.  Not so much the past 24 years of my life, but more like the past year. It has been adventure, that is for sure! 

This time last year, as I was preparing for my birthday, I was also in the deep finalization plans to open a emergency shelter.  After turning 24, and moving on into that year -  the shelter opened and we welcomed in men, women and children to a place to provide them shelter away from outside elements and be a place that they could call home while working to be able to live a sustainable life. Throughout the year, the complications of operating a homeless shelter was just a drop in the bucket to the normal things of life.  I often found myself wanting to escape to somewhere warm, but always wanting to make sure that my residents had someone caring for them.  I became very comfortable with spending hours on end there, when volunteers were unable to make it especially during the snowy days. I was blessed to meet many wonderful volunteers and people that had the same joy I had serving people that just needed someone to talk to and be their advocate.  Public speaking is something that doesn't come easy to many, but I just love it.  It is something that I am totally okay with and love to do.  The ministry that the emergency shelter operates under is a blessing to this community, and I wanted to give my all! Because it was the ministry and the people that worked there that helped me find my calling in serving the less fortunate. Looking back on the months that I was Shelter Coordinator of the Emergency Shelter, I am beyond blessed for those moments and cannot explain to you the amount of knowledge that I had the opportunity of gaining. (Hang on with me through this reflection, there is goodness at the end...I promise). 

But the year was filled with more than just the emergency shelter, I enjoyed watching LR football games knowing it was the last season on the 'ole grass. We got kayak's this past year, we took them out to test them out and the next weekend we had snow on the ground.  The weather in North Carolina is as unpredictable as which way a bird is going to fly in the sky. We've been without a pastor at church and walking the path to discover who Christ has already chosen for us that we must wait for. There's been beach trips, Biltmore trips, trips to the mountain and more!  I took a visit in April for an weekend off from the shelter to visit a friend and her husband in Watertown NY.  I haven't done much traveling alone, and while the adventure there of spending 11 hours in Philly airport definitely should be avoided, I enjoyed taking a step and trying something new.

I cannot begin to remember everything that I did in this past year, because for one things run together in my head and I can't remember if that was this past year or further back. But on this adventure of life during the past year, before I turn 25 and am a quarter of a century old, I would like to reflect to something that totally took me by surprise and rocked me off my rocking horse. I do not share the following information in despise of anyone, but rather to share how proud I am of myself to get where I am on the eve before turning a quarter of a century old.

While I had the joy of opening a new shelter and being the Shelter Coordinator of a new Emergency Shelter, I also had the sadness of no longer being a Shelter Coordinator and not making that decision myself.  Having your heart broken by someone you love is one thing, and while I can't truly say I have felt that before -- but the brokenness that I felt after learning that I would no longer a the Shelter Coordinator for a place that deeply has my heart!  Yes there were times of struggle and confusion, but the people at the Emergency Shelter are outstanding people.  They taught me lessons of survival in the world, how to make coffee, ways to fold a fitted sheet, how to get lotion out of a bottle without making it watery.... I could fill a whole blog with the things I learned from them.  They taught me to be sneaky in knowing what was going on, to listen to everything and never take anyone for granted.  They taught me that being a friend is what everyone wants.  They taught me what it feels like to be completely frustrated with someone when I was trying to provide resources to get help and they refused.  But ultimately, they taught me that power of listening, truly listening, not trying to fix the problem, but using my ears only to listen. My heart was broken.  My heart was broken because something I loved was yanked away from me with no concrete reason why.  My heart was broken because lies were told.  My heart was broken because people that I loved, residents, volunteers and community connections, did not receive an appropriate farewell from me.  Instead someone else wrote words and my name.  My heart was broken.

While I walked through the pains of having my heart broken, each day things happened that helped me get back up and keep walking the path of life.  Having our hearts broken with no closure is something very hard to move on from.  But I am blessed that there are community connections and friends that have allowed me to take an extra day to move on and now I am getting back in the groove.  I do miss working in my calling and I pray that during this next year of my life, I will get to do that.

As I finish, sorry for some of the rambling, but on this eve of my 25th birthday, I find myself reflecting a lot on what has happened in this past year. And I find it powerful to be able to share with others about the adventure of life.  A lot of my year was filled with something that I outpouring love for, but something I have had to move on past. 

P.S. Timehop is a wonderful thing, but not things in the past bring up heartbroken memories.

Dear Heavenly Father, with your outpouring love it makes it possible for us to have broken hearts and you to heal them. I am beyond blessed for the friends and family that you brought closer to me during the struggles of my past year (new ones too). I pray that you continue to guide me on the path that you have set for me, I want to continue to walk that path.  Thank you for guiding me. In Jesus holy name, Amen.

All our stories are different, none are the same!

Take a moment to reflect, yes you the reader, think of the organization/non-profit that you support.  The one that you give money or material to, the one that you volunteer at or pray over, the one that you advocate for or recruit others to support too. We all have at least one organization that we support in some way. So, why do people give to organizations/non profits?

COMPASSION - Seeing campaigns that need support, that is going to make an impact in the lives of those around us, and personal connection. This can trigger an emotional response 

BEING ASKED -  People want to know that they are personally invited to contribute

TIME OF THE YEAR - Holidays and the end of the year before tax season are time when donors are motivated to contribute

FEELINGS OF SATISFACTION - Giving provides you with a good feeling.  Our bodies are rewarded with dopamine when we help others (yes, that's the happy chemical released by our brain's happy center)

As I reflect on the organization/non-profit that I support and want to share with you today, I will start off with sharing the reasons why I choose to give to this organization.

COMPASSION - Supporting an organization that will make an impact in the lives of people I know is not even close to why I support this one.  As a young child, I was taught about this brain condition that I would forever live with, and 1950's technology that would forever be a part of me. As a young child, my parents carefully took note of signs of possible malfunctions.  As a young child, CT scans and X-rays became something that I was familiar with.  No child should have to get used to have 6-10 X-rays for a Shunt series scan. I am not the only one that has this brain condition, there are children, young adults, adults, and seniors everywhere dealing with situations due to Hydrocephalus.  All our stories are different, none are the same.

BEING ASKED - I ask everyone!  Consider giving to an organization that is working on finding a cure!  We need a cure, we need to move past 1950's technology that was created by a machinist.  We need to lower the amount of brain surgeries that happen everyday to individuals of all ages because of hydrocephalus. I am asking anyone to take time to learn about this scary medical term hydrocephalus means.  Ask questions, don't just be frightened by a word. I encourage you to feel empowered!

TIME OF THE YEAR -  There is never a better time to give to an organization.  You can always report your contributions on your tax return, its not just those made in November and December. Brain surgeries are not selective on the time of year or time of the day.  Hydrocephalus is the number one reason for brain surgery in children.

FEELINGS OF SATISFACTION - Giving provides you with a good feeling.  Knowing that I am supporting an organization that is the largest not for profit aiming to find a cure for hydrocephalus is incredible.  Knowing that I am one of many individuals that seek to live our days without worrying about a brain condition that could malfunction at any moment, makes me want to fight harder, advocate stronger, and raise incredible amounts of money.

The HYDROCEPHALUS ASSOCIATION  serves as the primary nexus for research on hydrocephalus, a condition defined by an abnormal, excessive accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) within the cavities of the brain.  Hydrocephalus affects over 1 million people in the U.S. alone.  Approximately 1-2 babies for every 1000 births are born with hydrocephalus, but anyone can get hydrocephalus at any time though a brain injury or infections, among other reasons, or as part of the aging process.  

Each fall, as I am preparing to attend a fundraiser WALK for the HYDROCEPHALUS ASSOCIATION walk - I invite friends and family through Facebook and email to support me as I walk to raise awareness and support the Hydrocephalus Association. I was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus at 4 weeks and underwent my first brain surgery at 5 weeks of age.  Since them I have had five surgeries because of malfunction and adjustment, but I am very fortunate.  I have friends may age, younger and older that have had many more surgeries than that! All money raised at the HA Walks fund hydrocephalus research as well as HA programs that provide support, education and awareness. 

Finally, I am asking YOU - Give to your passion, give to the organization that you are compassionate about and the one that makes you feel good about giving to them.  I also ask you to consider giving $10.00 to an organization that will make an impact in lives of all ages, to mothers and fathers that are hearing the frightening word that their child has been diagnosed with.  Your $10.00 will support the children that walk into their classrooms this year feeling that they are different from everyone, the students that are told they cannot play a contact sport because they have a shunt in their body.  This $10.00 will make an impact. 

How to Give - Elizabeth's Hydrocephalus WALK donation page

More Information about Hydrocephalus - Hydrocephalus Association

Life as we know it

Life as we know it in this moment, could change in the blink of our eyes.  It could change for the worst, the better or somewhere in between. It is important for us to remember that while we most likely enjoy life as we know it, our lives are not set in stone.  So what do we do, as we walk this path of life that could change directions at any moment?  We live it!  We should live life everyday to the fullest point possible.  Do I do that?, Heavens no, but I should.  Look out the window, find a leaf on a tree around you.  Watch just that leaf, does it stand still and float in the air?  Does it fight when the wind blows to stay where it wants to in a "safe" place out of harms way?  Most likely if you are looking at a normal tree, and not one found in a Dr. Seuss book, then you will find that the leaf goes with the wind when it blows, and possibly residing in a new place.  It may get swiped off its branch by the wind, and fall to the ground, or get carried around for awhile before falling.  The leaf may be yanked down by a young child or picked by a bird to be taken to make a nest.  Just like this leaf having no choice in where it is going to land or when it will be taken away from its safe area  - we must see where life is going to take us, be willing to step out of the known land and onto the path that is being set before us.

Recently the life as I knew it, changed.  Did it change for the worst or for the better, that is an answer I will never be able to answer.  Did it throw me into a place of uncertainty and wonder, of course, but that is turning out to be okay.  It turned out to be okay that the actions of my every day routine were changed all in the blink of my eye.  Nothing harmful or life threatening happened, but my heart was definitely broken. I won't go into much depth here about the extent of what took place, because honestly it is something I have moved on from.  The door has been shut, the page has been turned, the glass is filling up again.  Life as we know it... can change... but mail slots of opportunity will open and pages will be filled again.  My life as I knew it was filled with busy days, mind blogging, paperwork, decisions to be made, being on call, worry, bad weather days, serving others, caring for the least, teaching moments, laughter, friendships, parenting, and the list goes on.  But what I am now discovering is that while the life that I knew was my life, I was missing out on some of my favorites.  Life as I knew it was grand and fulfilling, but that is not ALL my life is about. 

From a favorite movie of mine, and a song that I am sure you have heard before... I have changed the words some, because my favorite things and Maria's favorite things just didn't line up...

Splashes on kayaks and dogs on a leash
Friday night wine and mountain air walks
Large Envelopes sealed with a lick
These are a few of my favorite things

Sunshine hot touch and garden fresh okra
Parkways and cabins and rides with my fella
Ducks that swim through the lily pads with ease
These are a few of my favorite things

Boys in plaid shirts with no care in the world
Raindrops that land with a plop and piddle
Phone calls with friends with miles in between
These are a few of my favorite things

When the bear growls, when the pickles flame
When I'm feeling lost
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

So my rhyming my be off.... a lot... and it may sound silly.  But we all must acknowledge our favorite things and what defines ourselves.  While my life as I knew it was grand and I am beyond blessed for the opportunity, I had lost focus and connection with so many of my favorite things. I love to write snail mail letters and sending them, I almost get more joy sending them then receiving them.  I love to listen to the raindrops go plop or Friday night wine time with my family.  Life as I knew it was grand, but as that door closed and the page turned I am getting back with my life and doing my favorite things.  Life as I knew it will someday just be a chapter in my life.

Life can change in the blink of our eye, but we are the decision makers on how we are going to deal with the change.  Shall we lay in the belly flop position for hours vegetating or stand vertical ready to take on the world and every experience and opportunity that hits us?  We shall do both! Caring for ourselves is a must in this crazy life that we live, but living is just as important.

Dear God, Life as I knew it was what I saw for my future, but you saw differently.  You are helping me learn what life as I know it is going to be, and that is okay.  Hard and extremely tough at times, but I look forward to walking down the path to figure out what my life as I know it will be.  Right now, the life that I am living is enjoyable. I am loving time with family and friend, mint choc chip ice cream, watermelon juice, kayaking and more!  The blessings that you have placed in my life are incredible, and I thank you for that!  Life as I know it may change everyday, but I know that you are standing with me through every step as life as I know it develops.  God, thank you for watching over me, I pray for all those that are not in a life that they are okay with, for those that have chosen to put their lives in front so that we all may be safe, and for all those that are completely lost without you.  Because of you I am able to know that my life as I know it will be built with your love surrounding it. In Jesus Holy Name, Amen.

R & R

Have you faced a day lately that you just didn't want to get out of bed, or you felt that there was absolutely nothing to wear except comfy clothes (but that wasn't something appropriate for work)? Even though the weekend happened and it really wasn't a busy one, I found myself Monday morning, forcing myself to get my act together and get to work.  Well even though I had thought I had tricked myself about ready to conquer the day, my aroma said otherwise....

Sometimes you just need a day away from the hustle and bustle of every day life, a day that when all that is going on, you can just sit and hide from it all.  In college, we referred to those kinds of days as 'mental health days', but now that I am actively working in a field that works with people dealing with mental health and illnesses, I refer to them as 'Rejuvenating ME days'.

Today, I had one of those.  While finding myself with 8+ hours of unscheduled time, I flipped through ideas of what to do.  Should I go shopping, a visit to Biltmore, maybe a random mountain adventure, or to organize my room, do laundry, oh the choices I searched through, but ultimately I wanted to just sit.  Sit and play games, lay in the beauty of the sun, simply be.  I needed to not do those things that I should do, or things that exerted energy, but rather things that were mind relaxing, body relaxing and soul relaxing.

Tonight, I feel almost like a new person.  Rejuvenated.  Fighting the temptation to plan my whole week out, cause I am trying to use the last little bit of this day to finish relaxing.  But life needs to feel like this, feeling like I can actually take on the world, instead of feeling like the world is taking me on.

As a child of God, we are lead down a trail that we do not always know where we are going or what we are going to run into in the process.  Choosing to give my life to God, and devoting all my choices to be driven by him, leaves me often questioning my daily walk, but a childhood story book that I loved many years ago and still do, helps me look at my daily walk with God in another way. While the book, Going On a Bear Hunt, has nothing to do with God, there is a section that I would like to share and reflect with.

........

Oh-oh! Grass! Long, wavy grass.  

We can't go over it.  We can't go under it. 

Oh! We've got to go through it.

Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy! 

Oh-oh! A river! A deep, cold river.

We can't go over it.  We can't go under it. 

Oh! We've got to go through it.

 Splash splosh! Splash splosh! Splash splosh!

Oh-oh! Mud! Thick, oozy mud!

We can't go over it.  We can't go under it. 

Oh! We've got to go through it.

Squelch squerch! Squelch squerch! Squelch squerch!

Oh-oh! A forest! A big, dark forest!

We can't go over it.  We can't go under it. 

Oh! We've got to go through it.

Stumble trip! Stumble trip! Stumble trip! 

Oh-oh! A snowstorm! A swirling, whirling snowstorm!

We can't go over it.  We can't go under it. 

Oh! We've got to go through it.

Hoooo wooo! Hoooo wooo! Hoooo wooo! 

Oh-oh! A cave! A narrow, gloomy cave!

We can't go over it.  We can't go under it. 

Oh! We've got to go through it.

.......

God, has a plan for each of us!  In the daily life with Christ, we face tall grass, deep rivers, thick mud, dark forests, snowstorms and gloomy caves.  These are tests of our faith or lessons that God is teaching us.  Instead of loosing faith and focus, we need to remind ourselves that God is the leader and he will lead us through these moments.  Take a day or half a day for a rejuvenating ME day.  We all need to remember to take time for ourselves, we need to care for the creation of ourselves that God granted us with.  So I encourage everyone to take a Rejuvenating ME day and push through the daily struggles to walk God's path! 

Can they be stars?

Every experience in our lives, has a story to go with it.  Somethings are happy and somethings are not.  We should never compare our stories with someone else's or claim that ours is worse, for we only should support one another about coping with those things.  Scars represent a wrinkle in time in which a person's life changed for ever.  And they serve as a permanent reminder of an incident that in one way or another has made a lasting impression on one's life. So what is a scar?  Is it  a mark that is left by a wound, sore or burn that has now healed?  Or is it a lasting effect of something that emotionally or physically happened to you? Everyone has faced a scar, and we all have different definitions of what a scar is.  Everyone is not the same, so every scar is not going to be the same, and they all have their own individual story.  Every scar represents a moment in time or a passage of time when something happened to us or through us that we will never forget. 

Growing up, I was very naive to the 'bad' of the world, but in the recent years, I have learned much.  In the more recent years, I have learned of scars that are not present by looking at someone, but rather these are things that have happened to one self that brought on additional scars.  These stories are powerful!  I have only heard of a few, but most of the time, find myself completely lost of words.  God is there, I can feel him, trying to telling me how to talk with this person, but instead I find myself completely blank.  The responses that I normally provide are so God filled, that when I go back to read or play them over in my head, I am lost with where it came from. 

We hold these stories so close to our hearts.  Our own stories, are something that shape us to be who we are today and in the future.  When we surrender our lives to God, he uses these stories and experiences to help us see the outstanding blessings in the world. Accepting our scars is something that is not easy, but when we do, we are able to completely learn about ourselves!  Sometimes after surrendering our lives to God and accepting our scars, it is those of us that can really understand the exceptional wonder and awe of God and his incredible works! 

Turn your scars into stars.  This is so true.  They do not have to be stars that are shared, but they should be the stars in your own life. If unwilling to share your scar stories with others, share them with God... and be an advocate for someone that is facing a similar situation or scar.  Anyone can be an advocate, but advocating for something that you know true to the heart, is so much more powerful! 

Dear Heavenly Father, 
I sure do love you, your awe and wonder often leaves me speechless, and that is an incredible feeling. While sometimes we look at our scars as something bad, help us to remember that the scars make us who we are, and should be our stars.  Lord you are amazing, and I pray for all those that are unwilling to grasp and accept their scars.  For I know that everyone's scars are different in depth, but I pray that you help them work through them and feel called to surrendering to you.  Jesus, you are exceptional, I want to continue living for you, only you, 'cause there is no better way! In your heavenly name, I pray. Amen. 

Words can change the world

Have you ever posted something online that could be degrading to someone?  Something that could be seen as funny to one person, but to someone else hurtful?  Words are a powerful thing, they can be used to build someone up, or bring someone down. During work today, I received the following video from a agency in Canada that works with those that are experiencing homelessness. While I work for an agency that provides to those that are lacking connections to resources, I also have the heart to help people see that the homeless are people just like you and I.  They want the same things that we want.  

They want a place to lay the head at night.  A warm place to shower.  When sick or in pain, a place to safely rest.  They want friendship.  They want a place to make a meal and sit at a table.  They have simple needs, like being among others.  Instead of seeing someone that is experiencing homelessness instantly as someone that is a danger, or do not care about themselves, take a moment to realize that they might be just like you.  While there are some that are dangerous or do not want to better their eyes in your way, they most likely have dreams and goals just like you.  Instead of looking down upon them, lift them up.  Lift them up through prayer, volunteering at a local homeless shelter or food pantry.  Lift them up by simply saying "hi".  

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", have you heard that before?  It is something that we often teach young children, so that they overcome what people speak about them.  But in reverse, are we teaching young people that speaking bad about someone is okay because it will not hurt them?  Our words should be uplifting and speaking positive about someone!  Especially when posting online, please watch this video: Words are powerful!

Next time, before posting online, stop and THINK!

T - is it True?

H - is it Helpful?

I - is it Inspiring?

N - is it Necessary?

K - is it Kind?

Dear Heavenly Father, Holy week is upon us and you are coming again soon.  You have set an example for us to serve the least of these, because by that we are serving and caring for you.  Serving the least of these is something that is very challenging.  Be with all agencies that work with those that are lacking resources and struggle to know where to turn when in trouble.  All your children have simple needs, help us all to see just that!  In Jesus name, Amen.

A different kind of King

Everyone has traditions for the different holidays! 

Today may not be a holiday that is marked on the calendar or noted in the general society, but today is Palm Sunday/Passion Sunday. We commemorate today has being the day that our Savior came into Jerusalem by donkey. While he may be a king, he was also simply a human.  Riding in not on a fancy horse or in a chariot, but instead on a stupid 'ole donkey. Today we begin the start of Holy Week.  The week that our Savior Jesus Christ died an excruciating death at the hands of those who neither understood his message nor understood the true meaning of justice.  

O Christ, what can it mean for us to claim you as our king?

What royal face have you revealed whose praise the church would sing?

Aspiring not to glory's height, to power, wealth and fame, 

you walked a different lowly way, another's will your aim.

You came, the image of our God, to heal and to forgive, 

to shed your blood for sinners'  sake that we might rise and live.

To break the law of death you came, the law of love to bring:

a different rule of righteousness, a different kind of king. 

Though some would make their greatness felt and lord it over all, 

you said the first must be last and service to our call.

O Christ, in workplace, church, and home, let none to power cling;

for still, through us, you come to serve, a different kind of king. 

You chose a humble human form and shunned the world's renown;

you died for us upon a cross with thorns your only crown.

But still, beyond the span of years, our glad hosannas ring, 

for now at God's right hand you reign, a different kind of king!

-ELW hymn 431

Why did Jesus have to die?  Because he came to the earth in human form.  Born unto Mary, raised in a family, went to church, taught in church and interacted with people of the community.  He took care of the sick and lonely, those in prison or those hurting, the thirsty and the hungry.  He set an example for each of us.  Today we are given the opportunity to be the face of Jesus Christ and to be reminded that Jesus died for us!

Palm Sunday is a holiday with a tradition for me and for my church family.  As long as I can remember we have joined together on the afternoon of Palm Sunday and hiked Hibriten mountain.  To some the mountain may just be another mountain of creation, but this mountain is a special part of Lenoir.  During Advent, there is a star up on Hibriten Mountain.  During Lent, there is a cross up on Hibriten Mountain. 

Our Savior Jesus Christ, set the example for us, to give to those in need, to care for our creation and to be a child of God.  His creation is an absolute beauty that we can compare nothing to.  There is nothing more beautiful than the creation that God has provided for us and how much God loves us!  It is simply breathtaking! 

Take a moment from your crazy life (and I know it is!) to do something that is breathtaking, that requires you to stop and observe your surroundings and to remember the beauties that God provides to us! Take time to be outside, to see the creation that we live in!  

Hey God, it is because of you and you dying on the cross that I am able to be here today to serve you!  Without you, I am nothing.  Your creation of land, water, and air is absolutely beautiful, and I am sorry when I do not care for it like I should. I love you Lord Jesus!  Thank you for loving me like I am and helping me see that I am loved by you.  Prayers for those that do not know you, and those that do!  In Jesus holy name, Amen.